New Intel logo adopted by IBM on December 13, 1994.

Humor Relating to the Pentium* Processor

Note: The following are jokes relating to the Pentium Processor, largely collected from Internet sources. This list was compiled only to record the public reaction to a significant story in the computer industry. Nothing in this list reflects the opinions of the Charles Babbage Institute or the Regents of the University of Minnesota.

Show me IBM's report on the Pentium's errors

Fair is fair -- show me Intel's current policy on Pentium replacements

THE TOP TEN REASONS TO BUY A PENTIUM MACHINE

November Election results may be due to Intel Pentium bug

An anonymous source in the Democratic Party has revealed that the sweeping landslide victory of the Republicans in November may have been due to an obscure bug in the Intel Pentium computer chip. Upgrading the nationwide vote counting system to the latest technology was one of Vice-President Al Gore's "Reinventing Government" initiatives. This change was meant to reduce costs and streamline operations, however, the computer glitch may have cost the Whitehouse dearly. A spokesman for the Democratic Party denied the rumor that several thousand Power-PC's had been purchased as part of a vote recount effort. When questioned about the news Senator Bob Dole (r) commented that he believed the Intel Pentium chip was far better than anyone had thought. A short statement released by Newt Gingrich's office indicated that "the Democratic party has always sought to divide America and that this discovery of an FDIV bug in the Intel Chip was clear evidence of the moral decay of our society." At a Motorola Plant in Austin, Texas Ross Perot told an angry crowd that according to his new calculations the deficit is actually 14 times larger than the government has been telling us. He praised his staff for staying up all night and performing the calculations by hand. In late breaking news today legal briefs were filed in Chicago by former senator Dan Rostenkowski's attorneys which claimed that the irregularities at the House Bank and the House Post Office were actually due to Pentium chip calculation errors. Sources in Attorney General Janet Reno's office reveal a furious behind the scenes effort to reload the whitewater investigation spreadsheets in order to double check the results.
'PENTIUM' stands for ...

P - Produces
E - Erroneous
N - Numbers
T - Through
I - Incorrect
U - Understanding of
M - Mathematics
Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?> A: 1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.> >
Q: What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a research grant?> A: A mad scientist.> >
Q: What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on Pentiums?> A: Warning label.> >
Q: What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium?> A: Successive approximations.> >
Q: Complete the following word analogy: Add is to Subtract as Multiply is to> A: Number 4.> >
Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?> A: "Life is like a box of chocolates." (Source: F. Gump of Intel)> >
Q: Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?> A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605.> >
Q: According to Intel, the Pentium conforms to the IEEE standards> 754 and 854 for floating point arithmetic. If you fly in aircraft> designed using a Pentium, what is the correct pronunciation of> "IEEE"?> A: Aaaaaaaiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!> >

TOP TEN NEW INTEL SLOGANS FOR THE PENTIUM>

Headline for 1995: UNIROYAL AND INTEL TO MERGE; "Royaliunintel" TO PRODUCE STUPID PENTIUM CHIP AND VERY SMART TIRES.
*Pentium is a trademark of Intel Corporation.
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Last Modified on: Thursday, January 5, 1995